⁷ Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem,
by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer:
Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up,
until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.

Song of Solomon 2:7 Message Bible

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

Song of  Solomon 2:7 New International Verson

It seems that lately I have heard a lot about struggling marriages in Christian homes. I think Christians have the most difficult time with our marriages because we feel we should be the last to have problems. This especially applies if both spouses are Christians. It seems that if both are Christians, then people believe surely between the two people that they should be able to have a loving and peaceful marriage, and it should be that way at all times. I think people set up false expectations in this way. What being in a Christian marriage does for you is to give you the tools you need to work through problems through prayer and the Word. It doesn’t mean that you won’t have any problems. Anytime that you put two humans together day in and day out, while dealing with the daily stresses of life, conflict is going to arise. It is inevitable. Just as God never promised our lives would be trouble free, He also never promised our marriages would be trouble free. Unfortunately, when we expect perfection, then we often decide we must have “missed God” on this whole marriage thing to begin with, and that maybe it would just be best to ask for forgiveness while both parties move on.  I am not going to take time to debate the divorce question, but rather just to encourage someone in saying that your commitment is honored most highly by God, and He is willing to help you deal with it if you ask Him.

With all that being said, I realize that most of the Hillside group is indeed not married yet. Perhaps, you can take the previous words and apply them later in life. Meanwhile, I do have some thoughts on pre-marriage. I think all young girls grow up waiting for Prince Charming. While I do believe this generation has pretty much moved on from Cinderella’s version of Prince Charming to a much more realistic version, I also feel that most are still looking for the perfect man. After they find the perfect man, they can then move on to the perfect marriage — right?

Yesterday, I took a personality quiz which intrigued me. I learned some things about myself that I have probably known for a while, but had never really seen it written out in paragraph form like that. My particular personality type tends to believe everyone should think like we do. They also get frustrated when the other person does not think or act in the way we think they should and that also applies to relationships. They often search for the perfect relationship and never find it. I do agree I have found myself having those types of thoughts, but am realistic enough to know every relationship has problems. I am wondering if several other personality types don’t have similar thoughts when it comes to relationships. How many young girls are searching for the perfect man, willing to go through however many until they find him?

I would like to insert a different strategy. First, perfect man, perfect woman, perfect marriage — they don’t exist. The only perfection in this world is God. Ok, so maybe everyone knows that. Secondly, anything even close to perfect doesn’t exist either — with one exception. The exception to this reality would be that there is such a thing as God’s perfect will. There is a “perfectly imperfect” person out there that God has waiting for you. Together, He wants you to have a “perfectly imperfect” marriage that honors Him.  You can force it and you can try to create it, but it won’t be right unless you wait for God to send it as the verse above states.”Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Just as you are preparing your heart to love as God would have you to, there is a man somewhere doing the same. There are parents out there praying for God to send the right godly man or woman for their child. When the time is right, this plan will come to fruition. Don’t worry, God will not forget you. He has a plan for you, too, if you wait patiently on it. One day, when the time is right, you will celebrate the first anniversary of your “perfectly imperfect” marriage and know that, with God, all things can be made whole — no matter what life throws at you.