It’s sad to say, but in the church we don’t teach youth how to have godly, Christ-like relationships or marriages. We just say, “Don’t have sex before you are married” and hope that will solve all your relationship problems. That could be why divorce is just as high in the church as outside. So, in order to help solve this problem, here are some things I have learned through life, mistakes, and wise people of God about biblical relationships and marriage that I try to live by:

~ Love like Christ loves

~ If you are not dating to find the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, then you shouldn’t be dating. Don’t date just to date.

~ Relationships are not about striving and struggling to see who has the most power and authority or who is in control. It is about serving, loving, and giving your life away for that person. In your weakness, the relationship is made strong. Love them and do it as if you were doing it to Jesus Christ himself.

~ If anyone of the opposite sex is more important than the person you are dating, then you probably shouldn’t be with them.

~ No friendship of the opposite sex is worth losing the person you are going to be with forever.

~ Always ask for forgiveness and humble yourself when in an argument, whether you think you are guilty or not.

~ Never speak in anger.  Agree to take time to cool off and address the situation then.

~ Never publically correct or contradict something they say. If there is an issue, then discuss it in private and in a humble Christ-like manner.

~ Never say or do anything with a friend of the opposite sex that you wouldn’t do if your boyfriend or girlfriend were standing there.

~ Avoid talking to anyone of the opposite sex that makes your girlfriend or boyfriend jealous for any reason. I would say keep distance from anyone of the opposite sex altogether if you already have someone.

~ No conversation with someone of the opposite sex is worth putting even one little seed of doubt in the person you are with or losing that person.

~ Fill them with compliments. They don’t know how you feel about them even if you think they do, or even if you just told them how special they are yesterday. Today is a new day, and they need to hear it again — several times a day. They need to be constantly lifted up and told that you are proud of them for the things in their life that they do. They don’t know you love them and are proud of them just because you think it in your mind. Speak it over them.

~ To all the guys, don’t worry about what all your friends will think about how you tell your girlfriend how special she is or how devoted you are to them.

~ To all the guys, it’s not your partner’s job after you get married to take care of the kids, pick up everything, and take care of the house. That’s your responsibility to share with her. Spend time with her, help her, pay attention to her and love her. Once you are married, it is your responsibility to love, honor, and act biblically toward her regardless of how she acts or how you feel about her in that season of your life.

~ If you tell them that they are doing something that hurts you, and they continually do it anyway and never try to change, then they don’t care much about you. Let those people go.

~ Realize they are not the only one with faults; you have just as many, if not more.

~ Listen to their problems, listen to what they say. People say what they think and mean. People usually joke about what they are insecure about. Listen and pay attention, and they will tell you what they are insecure about and fill those insecurities with encouragement.

~ Let little things go. Don’t stress little problems; it’s not worth fighting over. Talk about the things that hurt you and them. Then, don’t do those things anymore.

~ Find happiness in making them happy. True happiness is when you give up what you want and start working to make the person you love happy.

~ Relationships are hard work, so work hard to make the other person happy. If they do the same, you will have a good, long lasting relationship.

If you will take these things and apply them, your relationships will strengthen and grow. I pray that God will re-establish biblical marriage and relationships in the body of Christ, and end the plague of selfishness and divorce that is in the church.

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